Welcome to Quill Quotes Book Club, The Boy Between Discussion #1! We hope you are enjoying The Boy Between: A Mother and Son’s Journey From a World Gone Grey so far. Please keep in mind this discussion is only for the first half (Chapters 1-14). If you have read ahead or finished the book, please keep any spoilers or thoughts on later parts for the next discussion. See The Boy Between Book Club Summary Page for the reading schedule details and other discussions.
Kevin’s Thoughts
It’s a tough topic but I’m enjoying the book so far. The different writing styles between Amanda and Josh offer a nice change of pace and I think keep the chapters moving along quickly. I also like seeing some of the same events from both perspectives between many of their chapters! I’ve never read any of Amanda’s other books but I think I actually prefer Josh’s style, although I’m not sure how heavily it’s edited given his dyslexia. I also really like the quotes at the beginning of each chapter, very Quill Quotes! However, I’m surprised by how much the book, at least so far, seems focused on describing depression for those who know someone affected by it rather than how to deal with it. In a lot of cases, it seems almost like “what not to do”. For instance, I don’t think I’d have let Josh sleep so much or sent him off to college alone.
Favorite Quote
“It’s almost as if we can cope with something because we know that the situation won’t be forever – but what if it is?”
– Amanda Prowse, The Boy Between
Brooke’s Thoughts
I knew this book was going to be emotional going in but I wasn’t really sure what to expect. I cried so much during the Prologue it was hard to see what I was reading! Probably would have cried again during chapter 14 if I wasn’t in public. I would not say I am “enjoying” this book because it is not a fun light-hearted read but I am definitely invested.
I found it very scary that Josh couldn’t pin-point an event that caused his depression and only had a vague idea when it started happening. Having no sense of time, not knowing if it is day or night, and being constantly exhausted sounds terrifying.
Favorite Quote
I was fearful but couldn’t accurately pinpoint what I was afraid of. It felt easier to stay quiet.
– Josiah Hartley, The Boy Between
The Boy Between Discussion #1 Prompts/Questions
Feel free to comment whatever thoughts and questions you have! But if you aren’t sure where to start, consider some of the prompts/questions below:
- How do you think you would handle Josh’s situation? Either as him or his mum.
- Do you think Josh would have gone through with suicide if not for Simeon’s phone call?
- Do you like the different perspectives between chapters? Who’s writing style do you prefer?
- Who would you say is the book’s main target audience?
- Have you read any of Amanda Prowse’s other books?
- Share a favorite quote!
Commenting
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We hope you enjoy this discussion and join us again in 2 weeks for the final discussion over the whole book! Check out The Boy Between Book Club Summary Page for details.
If The Boy Between was a work of fiction then it would be one of those books where we as readers can see the cracks and it is infuriating that the characters themselves cannot see them. Unfortunately it is not, so we have to sit there and read as the cracks become so large that fellow humans fall through them. Of course a child who is ostracized for his dyslexia, and his inability to play sports is going to need more than toys and a nice picnic to be okay. The dyslexia and Elhers Danlos Syndrome already let us know that the child is just wired differently. They don’t mention it in the book but I would not be surprised if the onset of his depression coincided with his experiencing puberty. The differently wired brain experiencing a whole new wave of chemical changes. But the largest crack for me is what they thought University would be like. In the University of California system being a STEM student is not some movie like experience. It is an experience that takes something away from you no matter how fun it is. I imagine it’s the same in most universities. For someone like Josh who already had depression taking everything from him going to university was an unfortunate misstep. All of this I point out because I am removed from the situation,hindsight is 20/20, and knowing full well that the book doesn’t detail everything.
I definitely agree on the 20/20 hindsight as an outside observer making this book hard to read at times. Many of their decisions seem hard to imagine making based on the perspective we’re given as the reader. University can definitely be fun but is also a stressful, new experience so I can’t imagine sending someone who’s clearly depressed without any roommates or nearby support. However, I also think the reader gets an unfair advantage since we’re hearing both sides of the story simultaneously. The stigma about mental health and lack of communication/understanding between mother and son really seem to be at fault here. If they had been honest with each other earlier on, like they are in writing the book, I bet many of their decisions would have been different.
I think the universe made it even harder for them since everything seemed to collapse when Josh was a teenager. It doesn’t matter how much a parent says my teenager/young adult tells me everything- just like Amanda does in the book- there are some lines of communication that are just erratic between parent and child. I do completely agree that the stigma of mental illness is to blame for creating the erratic communication lines. However I do feel that as the older generations die this will get much better.
Yes, I agree it is so easy to sit back and read this book and say I wouldn’t do that, or I would have done things differently. Mandy did what she thought was best for her son at the time.
I didn’t think about his depression starting around the time he hit puberty but you’re probably right.
I think college can be fun and like movies but it depends on your reasons for going. We both know how hard the Biology program is, especially if you are trying to keep a high GPA. With his situation, I don’t know if it would have mattered much if he went to a college that was closer or with a different program. I think it was the fact that he felt he had to go to college and didn’t really have any other options lined up.
Again, we can second guess their decisions all day but we will never know the exact situation or if it would have made a difference in the long run.
This is a very insightful book. I feel so much for the mother and her son she knows he is hurting but doesn’t understand the depths he has gone. I understand her saying get out enjoy the scenery because that always lifts my spirits and that must work for her too. Mandy just didn’t realize Josh’s depression was way beyond that. I do believe it was a miracle that Simeon showed up when he did to help Josh at his lowest point. It made me cry when Josh said Simeon knew to just be there and hold his hand to get through the night.
My favorite quote was when Josh was little and said he wanted to cut the grass on the Downs. His mom asked why and he said “Because they look happy, Mum.” It was so amazing to think he knew at that young age happiness doesn’t always just happen and would not be easy for him.
I have not read any of Amanda Prowse’s novels but I plan on it after reading this.
I agree the book is insightful and must have been difficult to write for both of them. Since going out and enjoying nature or friends doesn’t seem to help Josh, I wonder if they’ll find other things that help him recharge and find happiness in the second half. It’s definitely a good thing Simeon was there since it doesn’t seem like Josh and his mom would ever have been able to understand each other without his help.
I thought that quote was interesting too but also found it sad that society conditioned his mom not to encourage that dream and want something “better” for him. Maybe it’s not the most glamorous job, but someone has to do it and if he finds it fulfilling, why not him.
I don’t think I’ll go out of my way to read any of Amanda’s other books but would be interested if Josh wrote something else.
The fresh air and sunshine always help me too.
It would be so hard to not know how to help someone you love, especially if you can’t even comprehend what they are going through.
I wonder what would have happened if Simeon hadn’t shown up. Would Josh have taken the pills and would they have worked? It’s sad that most of the time things have to get to the extreme before they get help.
I also highlighted that quote and found it interesting. I hope the next half talks more about his coping mechanisms.
I think I would read another book by Amanda.