Welcome to Quill Quotes Book Club the final discussion of Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover! We hope you enjoyed the book! Note this discussion covers the full book and will contain spoilers, so if you haven’t finished reading yet you may want to go back to the Educated Summary Page for the previous discussions.
Brooke’s Thoughts
I really enjoyed this book. It’s my favorite that we have read for book club so far! I didn’t have a problem with the ending but I wanted to know more! Is she living a relatively normal life now? Is she still going to therapy? I especially wanted to know about her love life and if she came to terms with her body since she was shamed for it her whole life.
I still can’t believe one family can go through so much. She overcame a lot and I’m glad she decided to share her story with the world. I give Educated by Tara Westover 4 stars!
Favorite Quote:
“The thing about having a mental breakdown is that no matter how obvious it is that you’re having one, it is somehow not obvious to you.”
– Tara Westover, Educated
Kevin’s Thoughts
I also rated Educated 4 stars! I’m still not entirely sure how I feel about the book though and would probably give it 3.5 stars with half ratings. I’m glad Tara was able to finish her Ph.D. and finally accept herself but it’s sad that most of her family disowned her in the process. I was thinking from the book description that her education would lead her back to the mountain and she’d be better suited to help her family in some way. Now that we see it worked out differently, I’m not really sure the takeaway from the book? Reading about a very different upbringing was cool to see new perspectives but I think most people already agree education is important and the result with her family just makes me think she should have cut ties sooner.
Favorite Quote:
“As long as we had never asked, it was possible to believe that they would help. To tell them was to risk the unthinkable: it was to risk learning that they already knew.”
– Tara Westover, Educated
Vote
Last Week’s Poll
Tara’s professors were the clear winners of last week’s poll for who was most impactful to Tara’s success.
This Week’s Question – Rate Educated
Sorry, this vote is now closed. The average rating was 4.25/5 stars!
Discussion Prompts/Questions
Feel free to comment whatever thoughts and questions you have! But if you aren’t sure where to start, consider some of the prompts/questions below:
- Were you surprised she no longer talks to her parents and her siblings that still live on the mountain?
- Do you think Tara is happy?
- Share a favorite quote.
- Do you think Tara would have still gotten a Ph.D. if she had gone to school and had a normal childhood?
- How do you think you would have handled Tara’s upbringing? Do you think she should have kept going back home so often or fully left more like Tyler did?
Commenting
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We hope you enjoyed the discussions and join us again for the July book of the month. Details to come soon!
The final portion of Educated was a very melancholic read. When Tara and her mother talk about the abuse that Shawn meted out to all his siblings and Tara’s mother expressed remorse for letting it occur, I believed that the author was on the path to a fairy tale ending. I was very wrong. She took a stand for herself and for all those individuals who Shawn had victimized and instead of being applauded she was excommunicated from her family. From the outside it is easy to say “Well, good riddance. She does not need them.” But the author fell into depression and started to experience night terrors because she had lost the people she called family. Her father offered her a chance to return to the family but she would have to recant everything she had exposed. I think Tara’s courageous refusal was my favorite part her growth. She was not just facing her parents, or her family she was facing down indoctrination itself, and the ignorance that such indoctrination creates. She had to make the ultimate sacrifice and let go of her own family to be happy and free. Faced with a similar situation I would like to believe I could make the same choice for my own well-being but I honestly do not know if I would have the fortitude and strength needed.
I wondered at the end of the book whether Tara would have had as much success in academia if she was raised in another environment. If she has been raised in a more traditionally “loving” home we probably would not have the autobiography. And if she had not been raised in a Mormon home then her dissertation might not concern itself with Mormonism. Her intelligence however, is innate to her and I believe she would always go on to receive a higher education and make a contribution in whatever field she chose. I do believe in being forged by fire. Individuals who have to face obstacles and fight to achieve their goals are less likely to take life for granted than those who have their goals handed to them. But I also believe that there is a fine line between being forged and being consumed by fire. Tara skidded this line the moment she decided to leave for college. When I finished the book I was very glad to see she had not been consumed.
I really enjoyed reading Educated. It was like we had to cross the desert that was I’ll Never Tell and then the choppy seas that was In a Field of Blue to reach the paradise known as Educated. I already recommended it to at least two people. One thing the author dealt with that I have to bring attention to is mental health. When she could no longer deal with the issues herself, Tara sought out a professional for assistance. It is important for all of us to realize that our mental health is important and there are medical and psychological professionals out there who can help when things seem to be spiraling out of control. Tara is probably a certifiable genius and she asked for help. The rest of us should feel no shame or stigma in doing the same.
In following QuillQuotes tradition my favorite quote from the book would have to be:
“Everything I had worked for, all my years of study, had been to purchase for myself this one privilege: to see and experience more truths than those given to me by my father, and to use those truths to construct my own mind.”
This quote perfectly encapsulates what I believe it should mean to be a parent. To give your child more than you have so that they can become even greater people. My parents have done that for me. Should I have children I hope to do the same.
Thanks to Brooke and Kevin for putting such a good book amongst their choices for book club.
Starting Part 3 I also wasn’t sure how the book was going to end, if she would end up back on the mountain or not. I agree it must have taken a massive amount of courage to stand up against Shawn and her farther. I don’t think I would have had the courage to do it if I was in her shoes.
While I agree her genius would always be there I’m not sure the drive would always be there if she grew up like an average child. She probably would have still gone to college but without her struggles at home, I’m not sure she would have thrown herself into her studies as she did and gotten the scholarships and recognition to move on to graduate school.
Or I’m completely wrong and with a normal childhood, she could be saving the world right now by curing cancer or stopping climate change. We will never really know. I really like what you said about being forged in fire.
I am so glad you enjoyed the book and recommended the book to others! ( I picked this one to be in the vote so it makes me really happy!) This is my favorite for book club so far too! Hopefully, we get some other good ones in the future too!
I liked that mental health was brought up a lot too which is why I choose the quote that I did. So many people are struggling with mental health right now because of the pandemic. I like that she said it didn’t feel like it was helping at first but she kept going anyway. Again, I hope she is in a much better place mentally now. I’m not sure you can ever truly get over such traumatic events but you can at least deal with it in healthier ways.
That is such a great and powerful quote! Parents try to give you their best but they can’t give you everything. You have to leave the nest at some point and become your own person with your own thoughts and ideas.
Thanks for reading with us!
I’m not surprised she’s not speaking to her father and Shawn. I can’t believe her mother and sister just turn a blind eye to the abuse. I’m thinking her mother will regret not talking to her someday. The father will never regret it he’s a right fighter so he’s never wrong and never change his mind. I’m so glad Tyler and Richard are still there for her along with aunts and uncles.
I’m hoping Tara is happy she needed to get away from some of her family to become herself and use her great mind. She is a success story since she got away from abuse unlike her mom, sister, and sister-in-law.
I think Tara would still gotten a PHD if she had a different background she had the thirst for knowledge. It is against all odds that she did with her background.
She might have been more like Tyler if her sister hadn’t asked for her help. I’m glad she tried to help her sister if she hadn’t I’m sure she would have regretted it.
This was my favorite book between the three book club books because it really made want to cheer on Tara and get away from her abuse and she did it. I would be so proud of her if she was my daughter.
I hope Tara will get to see her mom again someday. Maybe once her father passes away if things work out that way. It was pretty disappointing that her sister asked for help and then turned against her. But her sister was financially dependant on the family so it makes sense, something Tara herself pointed out:
“Now I thought about it, I realized that all my siblings, except Richard and Tyler, were economically dependent on my parents. My family was splitting down the middle—the three who had left the mountain, and the four who had stayed. The three with doctorates, and the four without high school diplomas. A chasm had appeared, and was growing.”
I’m not sure Tara would have gotten a Ph.D. if not for her background. At least not in history, since it seemed like her lack of context on many things most people learn really drew her to the subject. I think she’d have done well in school but maybe wouldn’t have had the drive to continue through graduate school.
I understand why Audrey turned against her. Without an education, Audrey was dependent on the family so she had to agree with them or risk being outcast herself and she probably didn’t feel like she would fit in with the siblings that had much higher education. Self-worth and feeling like you deserved to be somewhere and belong was a major theme as well. I’m sure Audrey would have struggled with that too.
I think your right that the mother will one day regret not speaking to her daughter. She is also somewhat a victim of the father but I am less forgiving of her because she protects one child over another.
I am not sure she would have gotten a Ph.D. if she lived a normal childhood. College was a way for her to rebel and escape, she knew her life depended on it. If she had a normal upbringing she may not have taken college as seriously. She may not have treated getting A’s and scholarships like life or death. She may have still gotten it though but just gone about it in a more traditional way.
I am so glad Tara realized Shawn was damaged. After one of her visits at her parents she went back to Cambridge and wrote, “Cambridge is less beautiful.” She was letting some of her family members really get to her. She did find some happiness with her aunt which I am glad she did. She deserved it.
I was frustrated with the attitude of Tara’s mother. To cut her off completely was cruel.
I too would like to know how she is doing today. I would rate this book a five star.
Am looking forward to the next read.
I’m glad you enjoyed the book so much! If we did half stars I would give it 4.5.
I remember that quote. It was really sad. Grad school seemed like a really dark time for her. I am glad she became close to her aunt and a few of her brothers so she still has some family in her life.
I can’t wait for our next read either!
Yea, I’m glad she was able to break free from her family and finish grad school. It is sad that most of her family disowned her though and her mother refuses to see her. At least she has her aunt and a few siblings who still talk to her. I almost feel worse for the aunt who still has to live in town ostracized from everyone due to Tara’s father’s conspiracy against her spying on them for the government. It’s crazy how rich/powerful Tara’s family got from the essential oils business.
It would be nice to know how Tara is doing today. I hope she’s happy and gets to see her mom again someday.